Tuesday, February 5, 2008

How to navigate V-Day week

So... for my married friends, you might be wondering what you should and shouldn't say to your friends the week around Valentine's Day, especially the day of. I have a few ideas of things you might want to avoid saying in the spirit of saving you from a potentially embarrassing moment:

  1. Tilt your head to the side and speak quietly when you say the words Valentine's Day. Your heart is to be sensitive and we may not have caught a man yet but we can catch that you feel sorry for us.
  2. Drop hints several times about how expensive babysitters are these days (and how V-day books up quickly) and how it would be great if you had a friend who would just come over and spend the evening so it wouldn't cost you for babysitting.
  3. Ask your friend to go lingerie shopping with you for your own little Valentine's Day entertainment and talk about your plans endlessly.
  4. Attempt to set up a friend with your newly divorced friend who is suicidal the weekend before V-day or after.
  5. Blather on and on about how expensive the flowers are that your husband or boyfriend or fiancee sent you and you don't know how you'll pay the groceries bill this month. I guess you'll just have to live on love fumes?
  6. Send your friend links to eHarmony, LavaLife or talk about how you know one person who found someone who is really nice online. Your friend probably has way more stories of single friends who have flown to a city to visit a potential suitor that was met online only to realize that this guy has significant scary issues.
  7. Have a friend's mother write you a letter about her newly divorced, big son who has five children between 2-10 and who loves Jesus, and his mother and would be ok with "popping by your workplace for a cup of coffee." After all, your singleton friend is good with children and these children need a mother, right? Then have this mother or her friend call your friend's coworkers to see why she hasn't called her son yet!

I am sure that you are an awesome friend and realize that your singleton friend is actually a super-duper catch and she's pretty ok with it. She's not opposed to being set up with a friend of yours that is healthy and normal but she's not desperate.

disclaimer: despite Knittinchick's vivid and sometimes disturbing imagination, none of these stories were invented for today's blogging experience:-)


happygeek said...

All of these have happened to you? Oh crud. THe e-harmony one and the babysitting ones crack me up! What do you say? On the other hand, #7, that's just scary.

KnittinChick said...

How do I deal with it? I pretend that I don't get what they are intimating and then I blog about it:-)

Isn't #7 the wierdest? It's like my life is a Seinfeld episode sometimes!

happygeek said...

The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.

MomOfTheCrazies said...

Very informative! Feel free to smack me if I ever do these things.

Bargainista said...

Thought i knew most things about you, but i would like more details on the e-harmony one.
Give us a blog on how to help you celebrate, or live through V-Day, before it arrives!