I don't know if you're like me (I can hear all of you shouting back at the computers-we're not like you, thank goodness for small miracles!... hush) but sometimes crowds get to me and they can slow me down. I know lots of people due to my work and I often run into people I know. Most of the people that I know are fabulous and I quite enjoy this but often get caught up in conversations that take a bit of time. It can take an hour to get a 2L milk and some bread (and no, I'm not exaggerating). This isn't a problem if you have all the time in the world but often I have allotted less time than I should have for the simple task. Like having your car loaded up with all your recycling and you need to go somewhere where people won't think that you are hip and green rather that your car is a bit trashy. However, I've come up with some handy dandy little survival tips that I'd share with you.
- Go shopping at wierd hours. Right when the store opens or on Saturday night when everyone else is having a cool life like going to the movies, you can go and basically have the store to yourself.
- Don't do any makeup or hair and wear a toque. This can be your decoy or costume but be warned, if you are recognized, then you will have this tactic backfire significantly... not that I know from personal experience or anything.
- Pull out your cell phone and start having a conversation that is quite intense. Throw in words like "Will I make my mortgage payment this month?" "How is he? Is he going to recuperate from that male problem?" It helps if you lower your voice on the words male problem.
- Look at some awkward item such as feminine items if it is a guy and he'll probably keep right on walking on. However, you might want to know that if you are truly purchasing them along with salad greens at a big box retailer, you'll probably run into at least two or three people that you know.
- Wear your ipod in the store and tune out the noise of the shopping carts, loudspeaker announcements and people talking to one another. It's usually best if you don't agree with the podcaster out loud by saying, "You go girl!" or singing out loud along to the latest heartbreaker song that Martina McBride wrote. Tends to get wierd looks and eyebrows raised.
Or you could have fabulous one-liner conversations about things such as the weather, the local sports teams and people's vacation plans (people love this in the middle of a cold winter). This tends to make you more popular.
If you'll excuse me, I have some cardboard boxes sitting in my car waiting for me that make me look like I'm a woman on the move.