Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Getting to the bottom of things

I'd say that I'm sharing a secret but all of you who know me are aware that this little 'secret' reveals itself to everyone. I've been blessed with a booty, a bottom, or a butt! However, you want to say it, there is junk in this chick's trunk-no matter how toned I am. I have the perfect 1950's hourglass body but for all of you that haven't noticed lately, we are not in the 1950s. This isn't such an issue on the top but on the bottom... short legs, small waist and big bottom means major belt bunching along with careful bending so not to reveal my Costco undies. For all of my family and friends who have rather slim, trim, athletic bodies... as in not having butts, I don't know that you can identify with me. Can you imagine buying pants to make you look like you have MORE of a butt? You can imagine my joy when I came home and saw an Oprah encore presentation about buying jeans to fit you. My assets have been on display... as in "Wow, you've sure been blessed with lots of bootylisciousness"... not as in "I wish I had those assets." Yeah, a new day has dawned! So I sat down with my post-its and marker (all I could find) and faithfully took notes. I'm almost ready to do the happy dance because they had jeans for women with a generous padding on their seats. So I went online to window shop for the jeans-Michael Kors at $100ish (and not in a petite length), Emery Pants by Theory at $230, and AG jeans at $198. And you'll want to tailor these jeans as well by removing pockets, getting it tucked in at the waist etc. These are all available at Macy's, Nordstroms and fine department stores. Or you can get the perfect Akris black pants at (drum roll, please) $700. I figure that if I make a trip to the States for the weekend, spend $1000 on one pair of jeans and a pair of black pants, come back and take them to the tailor's, I'll be set. Excuse me while I go get a moonlighting job to earn $1500 for a couple pairs of pants. Talk about investing in your assets!

1 comment:

MomOfTheCrazies said...

I hate shopping for jeans. My rear end was big to begin with (must be in the "jeans") but having 3 kids has wreaked havoc on my body.

When I was shopping for pants the other night, the lady in the fitting room next to me was complaining that she was just too skinny. But I showed great restraint and didn't make any "cheeky" comments.