Saturday, June 7, 2008

Advice for the sake of your cellulite!

Cellulite is an often underrated commodity. This is something that makes hard, cold chairs comfortable, stretches out your jeans and makes eating cottage cheese rather comforting. Here are some things that you shouldn't do to threaten this commodity:

  • Do not get inspired by the others who are running by you when you are walking. You'll start running/walking and will start putting your cellulite in jeopardy.
  • Do not have a Japanese student move in with you who is so healthy that it is very inspirational to you to start eating healthy.
  • Do not start drinking lots of water... it makes you take Bio Breaks often which will eventually threaten your cellulite storage traps.
  • Do not get nervous before meeting with people that are going to find out that you resigning your job and have your stomach decide to have a 'nervous condition' day.
  • Do not run up and down the double set of stairs with heavy boxes when you are packing up your office. This will make your bottom, calves and thighs hurt in places where you have these little spots for that rainy day. Definitely don't accept anyone's offer for help.

You can thank me as you settle down onto the couch with extra potato chips and a big bottle of pop to 'celebrate' the heavy rain day of the weekend. Definitely avoid all the water, exercise and nervous stomach conditions that you would help you!

1 comment:

Bargainista said...

Glad that i read your blog AFTER i did my exercise regime and had my healthy breakfast. Now i really feel good.
It matters not that late last night i was having my own little wine and cheese party after a very full day...(wine as in grapes, and cheese as in a bag of cheesies...yes i did fall off the wagon, but by gum, i'm back on today!